so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
