Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
