vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
