gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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