This is not my ceiling
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
