Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
