This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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