he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
