So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
