i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
