Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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