Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
