I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
