My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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