wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
