My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Houston, we have a blender
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
