i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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