your room smells of hookers.
And success
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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