You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
