shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
