Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
organizing the empties. That sober.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
