Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
