Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Randomize
