its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
