So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
