i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
