The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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