So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
