did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
