Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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