Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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