Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
