I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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