Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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