i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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