She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
