You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
