I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
