you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
