do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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