Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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