No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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