I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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