She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
