I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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