made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My bed smells like the plague
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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