Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
