The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
