the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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