doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
