After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
